On a recent episode of the Work in Progress podcast with actress Sophia Bush, former First Lady Michelle Obama reflected on prioritizing herself and stepping back from public life, addressing both her noticeable absence from political events and speculation about her marriage.
Eight years after leaving the White House and with her daughters now grown, Obama shared that she’s finally in a place where she can reclaim her time and make intentional choices. “I now get to control my own calendar,” she said. “I can make a choice for myself.”
“I could’ve made these decisions years ago,” she admitted. “But I didn’t give myself that freedom. As much as I encouraged my kids to live their own lives, I used their lives as a reason for why I couldn’t do certain things.”
She went on to describe a recent moment when she looked at a commitment on her calendar and, without naming specifics, chose to prioritize herself over expectations. “It was a big deal,” she said. “I chose to do what was best for me—not what I had to do, or what others wanted from me.”
Her absence from major events, such as former President Donald Trump’s second inauguration and former President Jimmy Carter’s state funeral in January, has fueled public speculation. Some even suggested marital issues with her husband, former President Barack Obama.
Obama acknowledged the guilt that often comes with saying no, especially as a woman. “We struggle with disappointing people,” she said. “So much so that when I finally made a decision for myself, people couldn’t believe it. They had to assume my husband and I were getting divorced.”
Despite taking a step back, she emphasized that she’s still actively involved in meaningful work. “I still give speeches. I still care deeply about girls’ education. The Obama Presidential Center is opening in a year, and I’m involved in certain aspects of it.”
The Obamas, who recently celebrated 32 years of marriage, have spoken candidly about the toll politics took on their relationship. In her memoir Becoming, Michelle wrote about the loneliness and exhaustion she experienced during Barack’s presidency.
Since leaving the White House, she’s continued to voice strong political opinions. Last year, she campaigned for Vice President Kamala Harris and didn’t hold back during a stop in Michigan before the 2024 election.
“Please, please do not hand our fates over to the likes of Trump, who knows nothing about us, who has shown deep contempt for us,” she urged. “A vote for him is a vote against us—against our health, against our worth.”
Video: CNN
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